the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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