we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize