is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
