Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize