So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
