i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
