You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize
