Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
