hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
