Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
