Your mouth is God's brothel.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
