just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
