So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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