I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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