playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize