Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
