I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
