What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
