i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
