Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
