If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
