Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
