if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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