i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
sarcasm needs its own font
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
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