Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
