She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You made out with two different species that night
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
