So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
