in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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