Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I wish I only lived at night.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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