I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
