and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
