also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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