How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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