alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
