With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
