Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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