my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
