There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
