im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize