Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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