Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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