I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Alive.
So much puke
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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