I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
