My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Are we still banned from the library?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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