i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize