Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
