absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
