y did u give ur computer a hand job?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
