She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize