we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
