And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
