yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
