Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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