I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
