I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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