I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
