On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
