you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
