maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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