I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
