Soap is not a condiment
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
