i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he thought i was a dude.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
