drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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