Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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