at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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