my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
