worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
