I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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