I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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