dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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