well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
