I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
