If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
